Boring, Humorless, Unattractive Men Staring At Vaginas For Hours On End

Hello clouds, hello sky, hello Reason magazine and this entirely welcome piece slapping the wrists of whining campus conservatives. I'm always relieved to see people roll their eyes at the kerfuffle surround Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues while acknowledging that the play itself is woeful.

The play is performed on hundreds of campuses around Valentine's Day ever year, and [American Enterprise Institute scholar Christina Hoff] Sommers is annually appalled, most deeply by what she calls "a four-letter-word that begins in c, ends in t, and is not coat."

Cart, then? This pernicious anti-cart bias is a facet of the American Enterprise Institute that I was not aware of. Actually, though, I must admit I thought the Sommers address being referred to was pretty good. It's hard to go wrong when you're making sport of the Monologues, it really is. Especially if you can draw parallels with Andrew Dice Clay, as Sommers does somewhere in there.

Now, world literature abounds with exquisite passages describing female sexual rapture -- from the verses of the dazzling Sixth century poetess Sappho, to Molly’s Soliloquy in the final passages of James Joyce’s Ulysses.  In my humble opinion, “My vagina is a shell, a tulip, and a destiny” does not qualify as one of them.

In other news, it's not yet eleven o'clock and I've already reduced one student to tears. This is all going splendidly.