Also Available For Bar Mitzvahs

So, immediately after writing that frankly inadequate two lines, some carousing ensued. Details of carousing are not that interesting, though. More interesting was the next day, when I was magically transported 140 miles or so up the relevant interstate to a wedding reception. The happy couple in question actually got hitched last December, and I served as their cripplingly nervous priest, so I always take professional as well as personal pleasure in seeing that they are well clear of the assault-with-kitchen-implement stage of marriage.

The best man surprised everyone simply by showing up, as it had been widely assumed that he was in Special Forces training in one of the Carolinas. Not to be outdone, the groom sprung speech-giving duties on him after we were already fairly well into the Tanqueray. As already noted by others who were at the scene, the resultant monologue on Bavarian terrorism - its characteristic features, its relative infrequency, and the phrase "oom-pah-pah, oom-pah-pah, kaboom!" - has to be in contention for Best Wedding Speech Ever. I, for one, was weeping into my gin.

The rest? Convalescence and paperwork. Am currently in transit once again, with New York as ultimate destination.