But Who's Going To Bring The Tonic Water?

Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman probably won't get in too much trouble for this because, well, it's Vegas. But there is a smattering of outrage nevertheless:

That's a wrong message to send to kids that if you were on a deserted island [sic], 'I'm going to bring a bottle of gin.' That's something that you can't say to a child because now if they...

...find themselves stranded on a desert island, their escape strategy will be incredibly unconstructive? No, wait:

...look up to the Mayor or have aspirations to be a mayor, or whatever the case may be, they'll remember the Mayor wanted to have a drink.

And a valuable lesson it is, too: the mighty and the frail, the tradesman and the politican, no matter your role in this quotidian world, you trudge through it with no solace in sight beyond your next stiff drink. Particularly, one would think, if your job involves talking to fourth-graders on a regular basis.

For my part, I am grading papers and fretting. And if I could bring one item along with me on this quest, it would be a bottle of gin. In fact, I have brought one item along with me, and it is a bottle of gin. What are the odds?