"Sod Off, Swampy"

This marvellous story brings back so many misty water-coloured memories of Merrie England that I barely know where to begin.

I can't decide between

I’ve never seen anyone less amenable to listening to our point of view.

and

Protesters conceded that mounting the operation after lunch may not have been the best plan.

as my favorite line. Perhaps

Then when we were on the floor they tried to push huge filing cabinets on top of us to crush us.

is also in the running.

Yes, yes, violence is reprehensible. On the other hand, so is the self-absorption of people who think they can march into other people's workplaces "blowing whistles and sounding foghorns" and generally acting the twat, expecting to be met with hushed reverence. If you behave like this to bellicose, unpleasant people who have had a few beers, it's called "starting a fight".