Monday, August 22, 2005

Here, There, and Portland

How many roads must a man walk down before his feet fall off? A couple of travel-related thoughts:

  • Any flight that departs on a Monday and arrives on a Wednesday had better have morphine drips throughout the cabin in addition to a complimentary beverage service.

  • Although you might think that your having to teach an airport bartender how to construct a Flatliner would constitute grounds for a discount, it will still end up costing you ten dollars, even if you supply your own Tabasco sauce.

  • If you find yourself in the city of Portland, Oregon, under no circumstances should you employ the services of the Green Cab taxi company. They don't mean the word "Green" to have any sort of friendly environmental connotation, as it would elsewhere in that state. No, they mean "Green" in the sense of "never having driven a taxi before".

  • Contrary to the impression created by the link above, if you order a pitcher of sloe gin fizz to go while you're there, you will be cruelly rebuffed.